Apollo took this picture. It's one of my favorite. She never smiles for me but hams it up for him.
There are also moments where I don't want to kiss them to death... lots of moments. Especially Apollo. He is such a defiant little boy. He isn't the obedient type and often my directions to him go in one ear and out the other. It is so frustrating!!!!!! Today, I had a tantrum at him. One of those yelling super-duper-loud losing-my-cool moments that leaves me wondering if I am a horrible mother and if other moms have moments like me. Then, while driving him to preschool, I broke into tears thinking about how he must feel when I spend the majority of the day punishing or lecturing him. Maybe a fresh batch of pregnancy hormones came in today, or something, because I felt like I was on an emotional roller coaster. I decided we needed some fun time. Time where I wasn't trying to clean the house or wrangle Sunshine or cook dinner- one-on-one mommy and Apollo time. I took him on a date when Cameron got home from work. I asked Apollo where he wanted to go and he said "Starbucks and Toys R Us." So off we went, and it was so much fun. Hot chocolate and a new flashlight and he was on cloud nine. Kids are so wonderfully simple when it comes to what pleases them.
Sunshine was fussy all day with a fever and a horrible cough. I took her to the doctor's for the third time in a matter of weeks, only to be told yet again that she is fine and it's viral and to just wait it out. Sometimes I wonder if the doctors are trying not to roll their eyes at me when I take her in. I wish I could look in her ears and make sure they aren't infected myself. It sucks. I hate it when she's sick :( I especially hate when the kids have fevers and want to be held all day. I love snuggling her, but can tell she feels totally miserable.
She said her first sentence this week. Cameron was taking her out of the bike trailer in a downpour of rain and she said "Hi! It's raining!!! Oooh Oooh!"
And... here they are dancing for about two seconds. Whenever they see the camera, they get distracted and want to play with it
And here they are torturing our poor pig Edwin.
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5 comments:
Other mom's have moments like that. I sure do. Ask Andy. He (embarrassingly enough) heard me yelling at Madeline through our front door. sigh.
sorry that Sunshine's sick. Asher's had a bad cough and runny nose this week (he threw up twice from coughing so hard) but no fever. it seems to be an awful season for sickness this winter but maybe it's just because we have kids now and are exposed to infinitely more bugs.
I completely know how you feel. I too often feel like it goes in one ear and out the other. Like I'm talking to a wall. Adam is so stubborn and defiant it makes me want to pull my hair out some times. His new thing is wanting to sit in the front seat in the car. I try to tell him its not safe and he has a special big boy chair but every time I unbuckle his swat he scampers up to the front seat and refuses to leave. I've tried letting him play or a while and ask him to get out and go inside but most of the time he refuses. Today I actually had to pull him out from the foot well area and send him to time out.
I have had many moments like you where I have totally lost my cool. Thank goodness kids are so simple, right!?! And hopefully Sunshine starts feeling better. They do sell otoscopes to see in your kids ears at Walmart (around $40). They give you a book that teaches you how to use it and everything. My sister has one and says it is a total lifesaver!!!
Oh my goodness....I'm actually having nightmares about the last "tantrum" I had. I know exactly where I got my temper from, but I feel like it's so much WORSE in me. Like I'm some sort of Jekkyl and Hyde...
Oddly enough, fasting once a month(and being careful about what I eat) are helping with the Jekkyl thing...for now. Man, when do the hormones quit??!
Hang in there...and you're not alone.
I love love love your kids too! They are so much fun. Apollo cracks me up with the stuff that he says. I miss you guys already.
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