My "Nose job" (AKA Sinus Surgery)

 I have my grandpa Don's nose. It's not cute and dainty like a lot of the women I always thought were beautiful. I have nice big nostrils and it turns up at the end. It "smiles" with my face by expanding along with my mouth. But I like it now that I am adult. It's me. It's expressive. I think Apollo has my nose too- he rocks it.

Well, wouldn't you know- when I finally learn to like my nose, I end up getting a new one. On Wednesday I got a "nose job"- not the kind celebrities get, but one that removed disease and infection that had likely been raging in my nose for years. I had a septoplasty (straightening of the septum), turbinate reduction (shaving down a few parts of the nasal interior), nasal polyp removal, and every cavity of my sinuses were drained of infection and had stints put it. Gross, huh? According to the doctor, my nose was raging with infection and he removed a ton of polyps (grape-like growths inside the sinuses).  I was excited to have my nose restored to a healthy state- but oh boy- I was not prepared for this kind of pain. Apparently having multiple holes drilled into your head is a tough thing to recover from.


If I had known it was going to be this painful, I don't know if I would have done it. My sinus infection that I had before surgery was bad enough that it could have turned into meningitis or a brain infection, which is deadly- but man oh man- this sucks. The first two days after surgery weren't too bad- but the third day I was hit with the worse migraine of my life. I couldn't keep water down (or my pain pills). The stints and splint are the most painful part- they hold my wounds open so that they heal properly, but they are incredibly painful and I can't wait to get them out. Yesterday, I ended up going to the walk-in-clinic so they could inject some pain killers since I couldn't keep anything down. Apparently I was really dehydrated- it took three nurses and one doctor and six different holes in my arm before they found a vein healthy enough to take an IV. The doctor there told me he also needed to have sinus surgery, but refused to get it because "It is too painful of a recovery. I'd rather have recurrent sinus infections" It was comforting to know that it's not just me being a wuss. The anti-nausea and painkiller cocktails are helping, but my brain still feels like it has been coated in wasabi. I can't breathe through my nose or taste anything, and I have to sleep sitting up, which is really uncomfortable. I have had constant nosebleeds, My brain is foggy and I can't remember much of anything- even plot lines on shows I attempt to watch are confusing. When we were at the doctors, I looked over at Cameron and said "I'd much rather be giving birth right now than feeling like this." I've also been typing all kinds of fun things into facebook and emails, totally unsupervised. I'm sure it will be amusing to review when I am off the drugs.   Even though it's swollen, Cameron and I noticed that my nose looks strighter and shorter. Maybe I'll not only have a more functional nose, but a cuter one, too? The whites of my eyes are whiter and I noticed that my eyes looks a little different, too- perhaps all of the polyps in the sinuses near my eyes were affecting things. Weird. I am looking forward to how I will feel/look when things aren't so raw and swollen. I've done a lot of reading about sinus disease, and apparently there is a big coorelation between chronic fatigue and sinus issues. Maybe I'll have all kinds of new energy?

 I think the one having the toughest time is Phoenix. He came down with croup when I had my surgery, and has had to learn to drink formula from a bottle while I recover. It breaks my heart- he sees me and he wants me to nurse him, but I can't. I will never again take for granted how lucky I am to be able to nurse my babies when they need me. I feel so guilty about all of those times I felt like nusring my baby was a big hassle. I miss holding him and playing with my kids. Apollo and Sunshine are spending the week at Mema's house. Cameron has been waking up all hours of the night to bring me pain meds and feed the baby. I am so blessed with such a great husband.

Amidts all of this, I have been pondering- why did this happen? What am I supposed to learn? So far, I have been reminded of just how blessed I am, with an amazing network of love and support. I also think I will never again take for granted what a blessing it is so have a healthy body- to have a sense of taste and smell, to breathe through my nose, to be able to play with my kids and dance and run and all that jazz. To be free of constant pain.

Oh, and food, How I love being able to taste food. I am going to eat the richest chocolate, the spiciest tacos, and the zestiest fruit when I am all healed up. I miss you, food. I think of you constantly.I watched Willy Wonka and started crying when I worried about weather or not I would ever be able to taste chocolate again. So- if you're out there reading this- go eat something in honor of me. Enjoy your ability to taste! Also, leave a comment about what you ate so that I can at least live vicariously. Thanks.

Please say a prayer that things get easier, less painful, better... and that I can smell and taste and sleep and think again soon. Thanks for listening to me whine- it really is therapeutic.

Eating ice cream with ice in my nose. Hot!

 Wishing I could taste food. Cam keeps me well-fed.